The Words of Others Helping Me Speak, As Always...

"We bloomed in Spring. Our bodies are the leaves of God. The apparent seasons of life and death our eyes can suffer; but our souls, dear, I will just say this forthright: they are God Himself, we will never perish until He does." -St. Teresa of Avila

Today, March 22, 2011, my grandfather on my dad's side died. He had alzheimer's disease for as long as I can actually remember of him, but died today of simple age related complications, I'd guess, and it is a blessing that his spirit is free of that disease now. I didn't see him often, and mostly only as a kid; I have vague foggy memories of seeing him in the same room as me, watching him watch my grandma, but nothing I can be sure is of reality's making and not just that of my own mind. But I knew him, somehow. My father, as his son, whether one of loyalty or rebellion, reflected in his own way much of who my grandfather presented him to be--- aspects of who he was and what he believed in radiate through my father's respect of traditions and celebration, and my father's loyalty. I know my grandfather also because of my grandma, because of how she has influenced my life, although she's always been far away. Her kindness and selflessness were encouraged by his support and dedication through decades of marriage, devotion, and love. The relationships I barely witnessed but were still able to sense are mostly what I am left thinking of today as I think pleasantly on the memory of my grandfather, his love of family, service to his country, and deep faith in God.

As much as it is sad to think on any loss, really, I feel grateful most of all that he is finally free of disease and free of physical restrictions. I worry about my family, my grandma, my dad... but I know that there is so much blessing in this. There is a cycle in effect here... all things appear to terminate, but nothing is ever over- only the body can die. We can transform, move on, pass on. But to die is only to move on to the next adventure... I don't see how anything could really be over. The universe is breathing with what we leave behind-- words, love, feeling, courage, testament. As God's word hums through the earth and the everything, I feel the beating of some kind of miracle. Life and death are not stopping points--- just "seasons," like St. Teresa said. The only thing changing is the scenery. There has been a profound beauty in today as the passing of my beloved grandfather has reminded me of my many life blessings.

All shall be well, all shall be well...