Hard sometimes to be able to understand whether I am sad for the inherit sadness of a sad thing or sad because I have, again, of course, failed. Feeling confused more than ever, feeling like I don't understand why I can't make anyone stay, feeling the most sad because I couldn't make you stay. Or maybe I can. I know it's not over yet, but everything leading up to this feels just as bad as everything else.

I guess I just don't know what else I can do.