Sometimes when I reread something I've written I cannot recognize myself in it. I always feel like I am a teenager again reading posts by Kate Gervais and sometimes feeling better, always feeling understood, being two of the same person just to have somebody else to talk to.

I feel these blues happening and trying to drown me but I forget how to do that by myself--- which I think is good. Still don't know how to talk about it which is not as good. Everything was good except for me. If Peter lets me through the gates, I think I will just hug God and tell him how sorry I am for not loving myself. I thought about that in the car when everyone was worrying about somebody else's problem... but the difference is I've never had anyone else to pretend to blame, maybe.

I'm talking in circles because I need to talk to somebody and I'm realizing the only person I really know how to talk to is myself. Where does that put me?