Why was it then that I felt better?

I'm not sure what it was, or why I feel so un-good right now, in this moment. But I went for a walk sitting still today, just syncing up my tears with the melody, trying so hard not to let God know I was crying. There's just something about lately that makes it real hard for me to know what to do with myself... I just keep trying to remind myself that it's not personal, that it isn't my fault... that it isn't anyone's fault. Somehow, though, I'm so sorry for not being able to fix it before it was this bad. Not that in general it's all bad...

Sometimes talking in circles is the only way I know how to walk a straight line again....