It was like a weird teenage wonderland, pizza and something beautiful between us. Here we are, I guess. Here you are, I guess. It's refreshing.

I'm really overwhelmed with not talking about things, and that's important to deal with. This feels like a grown up issue I can't grasp fully, but the disappointment I felt this week has just been incredible. "Sometimes you do the right thing, but it isn't the right thing for another person." It was funny hearing that, like at the end of Wizard of Oz when Dorothy states what she's learned- a funny moment of absolute reflection, like a moment of this is what I was meant to learn. But nothing is changed because of it. It's frustrating to feel out of control.

I write this here because I'm not sure how to deal with it there.