Freewrites Week 6

Entry 1:
"I've been trying to nod my head, but it's like I've got a broken neck, wanting to say I will as my last testament..." from More Adventurous Rilo Kiley

Nod my head, not my head. It's broken
in half, cracked right down my forehead,
china doll white face red lips or pink
if you put water on them, they change-
like all things. remember the dolls
that can pee or the pee-wee one
that had the drawstring and daddy
duct-taped its whole face silver
after that episode of goosebumps
and too much sugar. or, the one
that used to squeak til i put her
in the bathtub, she was my mom's
but i didn't get it, or the barbies
we gave haircuts to- leukemia, you see-
then threw down the stairs
because tragedy is more fun than
anything. we gave jafar a bath
until he broke in half, half of us
cared and the other half cried
because that's what we do best,
took us years of breaking our necks
to get ones we wanted, wanted
nothing to do with them when i turned
10 or earlier, i was too old
to play with dolls or to break my neck
for anything but boys or approval,
but now guys and dolls is my closet
situation, photos and old clothes in the corner
of the built-in but not walk-in
waste of space good for nothing but
storage kind of thing.


Entry 2:
"Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, I’ve looked at cloud that way."
Both Sides Now Joni Mitchell

Bows and flows of angel hair
pasta and sand castles we talked
about building together on white
beaches, sand dollars for door knobs
and when it all washes away we would never worry.
Everything is food when you're hungry, you say.
We eat clouds for all meals, stare into the sun
until we can't see anything
but each other. Canyons of upside down
cake or smiles or whatever we wanted. The elephants charge
the horizon, for a hummingbird second, until they too
melt into the sea, like Jimi said, but we,
we never worry. We would never worry.
We make babies, in the sky of course,
call them by name, point them to that dragon we built,
or a fire hydrant. we don't remember anymore.
We chased demons 'til they turned to angels
'til they morphed into waves, "frothier version
of the skies," and on this cliff
only mermaids and sea foam hear our green clouded
whispers of whatever words we still don't know
how to say. You speak to me in lowercase, stain
my shoulder with whispers of things that scare you,
your hands trace the crease between my head
and my shoulder, whatever that is called. we could call it
anything, i tell you. we are new merpeople, not mere
people, just you and me to populate this cliff
hanging over this ocean i waited my whole life to smell.
we form alphabets from patient rain. we can see whatever
we like, you tell me. Clouds get in the way of
nothing, you tell me. we can go wherever we like.