Something less than impressive.

Shame on them if they can't understand ya, or if they bother trying too hard when everybody smart knows that's never been the real point. Real silence is sometimes most favorable in uncomfortable climates. Broken down about three blocks from here, I raised my hands to the sky and laughed at these ugly birds flying in a V shape because I remember being small on a wooden playground doing the same thing at the same ugly birds and that phrase "flying V" because that is simply what was going on. Now, going on, I am rolling along like I would on train tracks if I were a train or like after breadcrumbs if I were those kids in that story or maybe desperate enough as a regular person in their twenties like anyone else. It's not easy, you know. I have been trying to tell people this. Being in my twenties doesn't make me feel much different from being in my anythingelses. I just want to wake up and do things and not think about things that need to be done later- it's not in my nature to plan my life. It's in my nature to love life, to love it for what it is and as I see it, naked and glorious and primal and sensitive and moving... but I'm about as sure now as I was five or fifteen years ago what I want to be when I grow up because I still think I pretty much like my life as it is, I'll take it as it comes or pull away when I don't like it. I feel like I am doing all right. I feel like I am tired of questions, of certain brands of people who are against my truth's encouragement because I just want to do these things I like to do and not feel too much like there is much more I need to do. I would like to write and have nobody bother me about it. I would like to believe in God and not feel like anybody needs me to go to church to prove it. I want to sit on my butt and do my laundry and sing along to bad music and cry when I'm sad or just overwhelmed and feel like this is enough or at least kind of enough or at least kind of something more or less less than too much to handle. I am sitting here feeling better because at least you know this is how I feel, even if you can't understand it or respect it but at least I told you or tried to. I don't know what I was trying to say. Just that I feel better for saying something. I don't know. Give me a break, all right? I'm just letting you know.