Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Recent Bedrooms.

please. make me look cool.
Today I saw a dead ladybug on the sidewalk. I look at it for about 5-7 minutes.
I kept walking and saw a lady sleeping on her back porch with her mouth open. I looked for about 30 seconds, but thought about it the whole way home.
I want to go to the winchester house in California within the next few months.
I miss my cats and my family a lot.
I break my own rules and don't feel bad about it.
I haven't had to do laundry since I've been in Germany. I brought enough underwear to last me six solid weeks. Who does that? I am going to wash everything tomorrow though because I just foundationally feel like I need to.
When I am sad, I miss Kristyn the most. She is my favorite person to be around when I feel sad.
I'm not sad today, at all.
I love the way it sounds when German people speak English.
I hate writing poetry.
Hannover. Amsterdam. Berlin. Sweden? Stay in Oldenburg. Go Home. Five weekends left. Wild.
My Nathaniel Hawthorne class Friday is cancelled! My week just improved, tenfold.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Decemberists.

This is the story of the boys who loved you.

The Morning Benders


"And I made an excuse; You found another way to tell the truth.
I put no one else above us. We'll still be best friends when it all turns to dust."

This was when the year was winding back to the beginning, when all the colors starting looking purple and gold, when I started reading your mind. This was after everything, but before things mattered. I just want sometimes to be on my own because it is hard to share. Do you know what I mean?

That's not the point.
The point is... I am elated. Out of my mind in love with everything. And especially you. Today is something else completely! Can you believe it? If you think that it's all already been created, you're wrong. You woke up today. Isn't that enough?

It is most difficult to be positive on one's own.
Some people just don't listen the same.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Nicole Krauss

"I want to say somewhere: I've tried to be forgiving. And yet. There were times in my life, whole years, when anger got the better of me. Ugliness turned me inside out. There was a certain satisfaction in bitterness. I courted it. It was standing outside, and I invited it in."
The History of Love
Right.
How do you react to that which you should forgive?
I never saw anything wrong with sunshine until you reminded me that some people are allergic.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Anais Nin

"Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in exstacy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls."

Monday, May 10, 2010

Joanna Newsom

"There's a man who only will speak in code
Backing slowly, slowly down the road
May he master everything
That such men may know
About loving, and then letting go."

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Joni.

"We'd all go looking for a party
Looking to raise Jesus up from the dead
And I'd be kissing in the back seat
Thrilling to the Brando-like things that he said
And we'd be rollin'
Rollin'
Rock 'n' rolling..."

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Poetry

You can’t be beautiful in poetry anymore, not serene or
magical, no more song and (or) dance. Nobody’s been lovely
since Neruda, nobody can fall in love or fall in anything
but garbage cans or down rabbit holes or from airplane
emergency exits on your birthday or fiftieth anniversary
of your dead cat’s adoption. You can get hit or shot and now,
even fucked, but we are not electric anymore. Babies can’t die
unless it’s funny, Jesus can only show up if he’s going
on a date with your step-mom’s sister in a Bon Jovi t-shirt
that he bought at Goodwill and your parents’ divorce will never
matter, unless you can tell me about it in one-syllable
words that including letters Q or X. The men who taught me
to write have died, all failed for saying too much. There are no more
bright stars or fair faces (unless they are on clocks), no more
delight because poets know the best things in life are
cliché. I want to tell whoever decided I could not be beautiful
anymore in pure poetic monosyllabic imagery to
shove it up their ass. How’s this for poetry?